[quote=“DWhite”]Chapters Five to Eleven Noah
I appreciate Pierre’s encouragement. I will continue to post, but I am certainly interested in hearing other people’s perspectives on the stories. I also agree with Grey Hair. I don’t think the stories themselves are irrational. What I like about the Old Testament is that there are no perfect characters. Nobody comes across as the ideal role model – even God.
Chapter Five has the genealogy of Adam through to Noah so we can actually count how many years from creation to the flood which is a fun math exercise if you are up to it. e.g. Adam was 130 when Seth was born; Seth was 105 when Enos was born;…Lamech was 182 when Noah was born; and Noah was 600 at the time of the Flood.
I am not sure who the sons of god were that took to wive the daughters of men which resulted in a race of giants, but God was not pleased. In fact, he was so sorry that he made man that he decides to wipe them out. After the waters abate, he promises that he will never destroy the earth again – at least not by flooding it.
Like previous stories, I am not sure what to make of this.
God created this earth and its inhabitants and then saw it fail so he destroys it. I am sure Beethoven ripped up a music sheet or two and I guess Picasso kicked over an easel every once in a while, so it shouldn’t surprise us that God would want to destroy a flawed creation. I just feel that God is displeased at human behaviour not at his creation. If Steven Spielberg directs a bad movie he could lay all the blame at the feet of the actors, but I would think he should bear some of the responsibility.
Only speculative answers here, but what was Noah thinking while being battered about in the storm? Did he feel an obligation to rescue any of the drowning people? And when the waters abated, what devastation was evident? Were there thousands of humans and animals scattered about or did they just disappear? I am trying to imagine how I might feel if I were the sole survivor of a catastrophe of this magnitude.
And God’s promise to Noah that he would not destroy the world seems pretty hollow. Armageddon is promised in Revelations but I guess we won’t have to worry about flooding
What I love about the Bible are the side stories that are not commonly known. Huh might make his posts sound unreal, but his summary of Noah’s drunkenness is dead on.
We also learn of the tower of Babel where a group of people start building a tower to the Heavens. God doesn’t like this because this is “just the beginning of what they will do.” So he confuses them by giving them different languages and scatters them every which way.
I wonder what God thinks of our giant skyscrapers and our attempts to explore the universe today.[/quote]
I have no idea why God would be choked about skyscrapers and universal exploration. If I was God, I would just shrug my shoulders and say, “meh, I’ve done better.”
In fact, if I was God I’d buy myself a fantastic new car… better yet, I’ll just build one… wait a second, I won’t need a car because I am God. Wait a minute – is God an environmentalist?
The story of Cain and Abel is even more interesting. Cain is another land tiller, while Abel herds sheep. Cain produces products that you cannot command, while Abel is all about command and killing. So, when Cain brings God his produce as a sacrifice, God says, “Corn and beats? Meh, I’ve done better.” When Abel brings his sacrifice, God says “whoa. That’s pretty awesome. I could really go for some lamb chops right about now.” Cain gets choked, asks his brother to join him in his corn field.
Cain: Abel, we’ve been brother since you were born right?"
Abel: I guess, why?
Cain: “Oh nothing… (sounds of repeateed stabbing, then shovelling, then burying). That’ll teach you to show me up in front of the G-O-D.”
When God finds out about this little murderous escapade, he summons Cain and asks, “Uh, where is your brother?”
Cain: “What? Am I his babysitter? Couldn’t Mom and Dad tell you more.”
God: Well, uh, yeah, but tell me, why is your corn crop bleeding."
Cain: Oh that? It always does that at this time of year."
God: “Really? Because I swear to…”
Cain: “To God right? Hahaha, because you’re God, so like who are you going to swear to.”
God: “Huh? What? No… what I mean is, I think you killed your little brother.”
Cain: “What!!! You think… I… I can’t believe you – YOU – of all people… there are no words. Well, if that’s what you think then I guess I’ll just leave this field here. Maybe when Mom and Dad are done eating forbidden fruit they can get around to doing some house chores around here. Me, I’m outta here. I think I’m gonna walk the land for thousands of years. I don’t need this crap. You know if you hate me, I hope someone kills me. Then me and you can really get to know each other in ‘Heaven’.”
God: Oh you’d like that you snivelling little bastard. You know what, if someone does kill you then I’ll kill that guy seven times harder. And to make sure everyone knows what a dufus you are … uh here (sound of God hand slapping down on Abel’s forehead) that goes there. Now you have a really ugly tatty that no one will appreciate. Well excpet that other dufus who dumped Sandra Bullock for that tattoo whore. Yeah, you are a tattoo whore Cain. That’s what I think of you."
Cain: “Uh, what are you talking about?”
I guess what I’m trying to get at is that Abel is the first martyr and Cain is the first human incarnate of the devil. We learn that murder, for some reason, is wrong. But Cain was never formally punished in an “eye for an eye” kind of way. In fact his punishment was much worse, being cast as a lonely bastard for thousands of years with an ugly tattoo on his forehead.
It kind of makes you think that all those Texan murderers who’ve died at the Electric Chair were actually not being punished at all. Putting them down is almost letting them off the hook, according to Genesis. And in Texas God is, well, right up there with Emmit Smith and Nolan Ryan. So the question to those who support capital punishment is “If God wouldn’t do it, why should slackjaws in cowboy hats do it?”
