Fixed it for you, Justin. When you click on the quote button then write your post below the end quote code…the code that looks like this
Thank you for that tired man here, tired brain. Been going through shit and still pounding the pavement as much as my body will allow.
Because Jesus is awesome. (no religious reference intended)
You are very welcome. 
You made it thru that a great thing… I myself am going thru the same thing! My daughter is just about legal but emotionally she’s not ready…Just be there for them and talk to her as much as you can…
yep,
I’ve raised three, and the’ve all made it to be adults. There is nothing in my life that brings me more fullfilment. Even still, it never ends. Heres to our children!
Port Ed
I love hearing positive talk in regards to people and their children, parents who never gave up may have thought of it but never did. Sure makes my job almost sound easy.
Speaking of which…
[quote=“jesus”]
They make electric shock collars for dogs. I’m sure some of the larger ones would have the diameter required. Just throwing that out there. [/quote]
There are days when I consider a perimeter collar AND a bark collar.
sigh
That is what I would call giving up on something which in the longrun is such a valuable part of ones life and dreams. To reach a child of yours you must put away your ego and remember the choices you have made in your younger years and learn to not hide from your child that you once had questions when you were growing up.
I disagree with you about not hiding your vulnerable side from your children. Children shouldn’t fear their parents, but they should be in awe of their parents. It gives them a sense of security. If you reveal to them that you are not superhuman and are vulnerable to the same vices and mistakes as a regular human then they will realize that if they refuse to eat their vegetables, clean their rooms, or even go to school, there really is not a whole lot that you as a parent can do about it.
I tell my boys that I have an eye in the back of my head, hidden under my hair. I also tell them that I know everything. They believe me. It keeps them in line.
On the other hand, I do agree with you that putting a dog collar on a child is giving up, to put it lightly. I think I’d rather have my children walking around thinking their mother is an omnipotent, rear-headed cyclops than have them tied up in the backyard barking like a dog. 
But by choosing to not admit that you had to make choices as they must in your early years, this does not make you a lesser person in their eyes but one who may be willing to trust and learn from. You inforce the fact that these are just things which help you become more responsible in later years. A new kind of trust and line of communication opens for everyone involved. I would rather have a parent talk with his or her kids instead of them putting their trust in some kid on the streets who has the making of someone who will recruit your child for things we try hard to make them alert of. If you trust in yourself you will feel comfort ion the relationship you gain. They know no one was born perfect in any sense. They must be taught to make choices sooner or later and this is where your words come into play. I have had success with many parents units or single parents in my years.
I have to disagree with you somewhat on this one Butterfly Fear…I helped raise my step-daughter and she has always told me how grateful she was that she could come to me, talk with me about anything and know that I could relate to most of what she was going through. If you let your child know that you also made mistakes, that you also were not invincible but that you learned valuable lessons that you can pass on to them you will have a better line of communication. She feared her father, he ruled with an iron fist and to this day, she loves him, but does not feel she can speak with him about any issues. I agree with Justin Case on this one,eventually our children look at us without the rose colored glasses or without the fear of doom in their eyes and they see parents who can guide them, not judge them and support them and most of all love them through the process. It was very hard but I adore my stepdaughter, she is a wonderful, well-adjusted parent herself…
The kids both told me they used to love their “daily torture”.
Used to roll around on the floor and tickle them and twist them up into a ball.
I love hearing good stories like that, we need to hear more positive.
I was more or less just kidding around with my previous post. Seriously, though, I agree it is better when kids feel like they can go to their parents with problems rather than other kids hanging out on street corners. There should be open communication between kids and parents. Children shouldn’t fear their parents but they should respect them. The issue I have with parents opening up on a personal level with their children is that you then run the risk of becoming a buddy or using children as confidants. Children need love, guidance and direction from their parents. They already have lots of friends, which might actually be the real problem. Kids need more parenting, not more friends.
The thing is, if kids are parented properly they will very naturally make the right choices. Your words come into play to a degree, but what you show children has far more influence on their decision making abilities than your words. Sure, they will make mistakes, since after all they are human, but they won’t be the big, life-destroying mistakes involved with things like addiction, criminality and promiscuity.
I don’t think it makes good sense to confide in your teen that you used to be a pot head in high school or that the first time you had sex you were 13 years old and didn’t use protection. I also don’t agree with the argument that it’s better to allow teenage drinking in the home than have them drink somewhere else. What about teaching them not to drink period? Either that, or be very afraid of what will happen when Dad or Mom find out.
What do you think happens when Dad cracks open a cold one with Junior in the name of “open communicationâ€
here, here butterfly fear i to feel the same way about the teen drinking! kids do not need to drink, and should not be allowed to do it. to many kids die because of alcohol.
I’m 22, and I was allowed to have a sip, and was openly around partying when I was a teen, knew all of the party stories from my parents teenage years. And guess who was the one, holding her friends hair beside the toilet, or breaking up fights, or just in general taking care of her drunk friends. I was exposed to addiction, etc. And I didn’t turn out to be some drunkard pothead… 
My parents were open and honest with me, as was I with them. I very rarely drink, and when I do, I don’t do it to the extreme.
It’s funny how parents think that keeping things away from their children, and making it completely taboo, is the answer. I disagree with the “lets let our kids get plastered at our house because we know they’re safe here.” But to put everything into prohibition mode, doesn’t work either. If your kid goes out to a party, and happens to experiment with something, he/she shouldn’t be afraid to come to you and talk about it.
I always knew I could talk to my parents.
It sounds like you had good parents. I wasn’t referring to your parents. I’m talking about the ones who party in front of their kids or leave them to fend for themselves while they lie around on the couch all day hung over. I’m talking about the parents who leave their kids alone for a few days while they go chase their addictions. Those parents then go on to let their teens do drugs and drink at home, or else just don’t care what their teens are doing period. The point is, when you grow up in an environment that condones drugs and alcohol or where there is blatant addiction problems, chances are that you too will develop an addiction. But, it is a “chanceâ€
[quote=“Justin Case”]
That is what I would call giving up on something which in the longrun is such a valuable part of ones life and dreams. [/quote]
My humour may be dark at this time - but it IS humour.
So what do all the successful parents of teen girls recommend for action when the disease of apathy and the influence of her ‘bad ass’ friends takes over?
What do you do when you strongly suspect some form of mental illness and the “system” won’t respond to your calls for help unless there is physical abuse/suicide attempts or unless I kick her out?