Why am I not in school today?

General Forums General Chat
1

I got this email from one of my students who is absent today. I had to post it. Don’t worry, it’s certainly no one you know.

[quote]hello,
Sorry I am unable to make it to school but, lastnight I was haveing extremely sharp pains and I had to go to the hospital. I found out that I was just constipated and had bad gas that was causing my bowls to blow up n get rele big which was causing the pains. So the nurse gave me soem medicin and the doctor said that I probly shouldn’t go to school for the next few days because the medicin will probly give me diahreah. So I probly won’t be at school untill wednesday. See you then . bye
[/quote]

So what could I possibly reply to her? Post your best answers.

2

How about, for starters . . .

“Thanks for opening up to me.”

3

Best. Excuse. Ever!

shudders Some things are better left unsaid.

4

How about:

Take two ROLLS and call me on Wednesday!

5

First off, I have to assume the spelling mistakes are the student’s and not your’s.

As for a response…how about “Ewwww.”

6

I remember this song from a Steve Martin Movie.

When you’re slidin’ into first
and your pants are 'bout to burst
Diarrhea, (Pfff. Pfff)
Diarrhea

When you’re slidin’ into second
And you need a disinfectant
Diarrhea, (Pfff. Pfff)
Diarrhea

When you’re slindin’ into third
And you drop a wet turd
Diarrhea, (Pfff. Pfff)
Diarrhea

When you’re slidin’ into home
And your pants are filled with foam
Diarrhea, (Pfff. Pfff)
Diarrhea

7

I think you should submit that excuse to the already existing excuse lists on the internet.

8

oh my…

just for the spelling alone, you should give her an automatic F.

well, considering my spelling isn’t great, but still.

9

I can’t believe I read some of these posts. It hurts.