Ahh… that makes a lot more sense that way!
How about Belgians? To quote Monty Python’s John Gumby character “They’re so disgusting we don’t even have a derogatory name for them!”
(this from the land that came up with the all-encompassing term ‘woggies’)
edit: I use Lutonians, you know like Stan and Yosh Schmengee…
Doesn’t work with Vulcans.
Oh man… this is too funny!
Unless you have 6 hours to set aside to read that entire 79 page forum, I’ll fill you in. Aside from about 4 or 5 funny post its pretty dry. I know, because I just read the entire thing out of bordom.
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so St. Peter had to tell the first one, “Heaven’s getting pretty close to full today, and I’ve been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what’s your story?”
So the first man replies: “Well, for a while I’ve suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early and try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn’t reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn’t you know it, he wouldn’t fall off. So finally, I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn’t stand that for long, so he let go and fell – but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony.”
“That sounds like a pretty bad day to me,” said Peter, and let the man in.
The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story. “It’s been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn’t hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when suddenly he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I’m here.”
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.“Picture this,” says the third man, “I’m hiding naked inside a refrigerator…”
Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude.
Bad: She’s coming home.
[quote=“herbie_popnecker”]
How about Belgians? To quote Monty Python’s John Gumby character “They’re so disgusting we don’t even have a derogatory name for them!”
(this from the land that came up with the all-encompassing term ‘woggies’)
edit: I use Lutonians, you know like Stan and Yosh Schmengee…[/quote]
So they came up with “Miserable Fat Belgian Bastards”
Classic humour. Love that skit.
Three women were in the waiting room of a gynecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be. The first one stopped and took a pill.
“What was that?” The others asked her.
“Oh, it was Vitamin C - I want my baby to be healthy.” A few minutes later, another woman took a pill.
“What was that?” the others asked.
"Oh, it was iron - I want my baby to be big and strong."
They continued knitting. Finally the third woman took a pill.
“What was that?” the others asked her.
“It was thalidomide,” she said, “I just can’t get the arms right on this damn sweater!”
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are sitting in the obstetrician’s office waiting to have their ultrasounds done. The brunette says to the other two “well, I know that mine’s going to be a girl, because I was on top while my husband and I were maing love.”
The redhead says “yeah, and I know I’m going to have a boy, because my husband was on top while he and I were making love.”
Suddenly, the blonde gets a panicked look on her face, and starts crying. The other two ask her what’s wrong, and she says “Oh my god, I’m gonna have puppies!”