Here's more on my "SELF"

I have forgotten to remember this place, this reality, the ever present now… I feel the air on my skin, the pressure of gravity smashing my body into this seat, all the senses that means I’m alive are sending me feedback… I think… What is that, this thought that I turn into words, this consciousness I perceive that is evaluated by me and everything I believe??? Is it a sense??? Is it the sixth, the seventh, or even all senses??? Could it be energy separated by constructs of amnesia??? Is this some kind of fantasyland so that I can experience change when I Am the same? Do I dream of separation so that I can live the life of fulfillment? AM I here so that I can strive to be there? Do I get lost in this drama so that I can be found? Am I looking for bits and pieces of clues that will lead me back to myself???

Okay so I hear it everywhere, "well that’s what they say!"
Well who the fuck are they??? And why do “they” matter?

I think we should remind ourselves from time to time, that they do not exist. Some of us tend to ignore our ownselves and constantly worry about what this person called “they” think.
We all think. We are all entitled to have thoughts. Some of these thoughts are the complete opposites of others. So why do we sometimes think differences matter? It is like sucking blood from a stone, you get no where trying to do it. So some of us need to quit wasting our time, look after #1 and forget about THEY!

Some how consciousness was formed and now I Am aware of being here, where ever or what ever this place is. I mean, I see matter that seems hard to me yet scientists claim if you break it down to the smallest part, all they can find that is hard about matter is energy. So if all substance of this reality is just some force creating differences like color, density, temperature, sound, etc… Then what is thought??? Some how out of creation flesh was conceived and life was born and now awareness covers the planet in all species of all forms. Could consciousness be random connections of energy forming patterns within patterns??? Life forms start simple and grow more complex as time proceeds. We as humans are more intelligent then the previous life forms of the past. Now our brains can process more information and we can contemplate our very existence of how we even arrived here in the first place. Then we can ask a seemingly deeper question…Why???
Well my answer is, if life didn’t exist then we wouldn’t experience being alive.
Now, life is grand but is my consciousness going to carry on with some sort of soul or do I only have my mental connections of this life?