A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked,  “Say Father, what causes arthritis?”

The priest replies, “My Son, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.”

The drunk muttered in response, “Well, I’ll be  damned,” Then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. “I’m very sorry.  I didn’t mean to come on so strong.  How long have you had arthritis?”

The drunk answered, “I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.”

Hahahaha! Oh…that’s good.

What did the drowning priest say to the life guard?

Throw me a boy, throw me a boy.

Glad you liked it:-)

Heh-heh, good one, Eso. :smiley:

An aligator goes into a bar and sits next to an upity female customer. After ordering and drinking his first cocktail he leans over and gobles the woman up. When he goes to order a second round the bartender stops him and informs the aligator he can no longer be served. The aligator angrily askes the bartender why? At that point the bartender tells him he cant serve him because, hes on drugs. “On drugs?” the aligator asks? “Yes” the bartender says " that was a bar-bitch you ate"

A++, would read again.