Unhappy with its existence under a pile of paper in Mig’s office. Swingline the Stapler decided to go walkabout.
OMG…he’s not wearing a seatbelt. 
And he won’t pass airport security, he’s armed and considered dangerous
You’d better not be speaking Polish when you’re handling that thing – or the RCMP will kill you.
No ransom demands?
Hmmm… the camera and date sound familiar…
You’d better not mess with a guy’s Swingline… you know what happened at Inintech.