Call of the day:
me: So let me get this straight, Telus gave you a free ADSL modem, free hookup and three months of free ADSL ‘just to try’?
me: and you’ve already cancelled your dialup internet with us?
them: yes it ran out last month.
me: and Telus told you that our dialup Internet was making all your phones go dead?
them: yes. They phoned and told me it must be your Internet.
me: and your computer is not plugged into the phone line?
them: of course not. we switched to ADSL like a month ago.
me: and is the ADSL working?
them: of course not, it never has. Then you made all our phones go dead yesterday.
me: how did I do that if you’re not one of our customers and aren’t even plugged into a phone line?
them: I don’t know. The Telus guy said. He said you had to disconnect our dialup before the phones would work. They said they tested it outside the house and everything on the Telus side is okay.
me: when did they come? Just today? (there’s no installer in town Fridays)
them: I don’t know. I haven’t been home.
me: so you never saw anyone come to your house, and your computer isn’t even plugged into the telephone line, and you don’t have an account with our company, but the Telus guy said he came to the house and our Internet made your phones stop working.
them: yes. that’s right.
me: well ma’am, these Telus guys aren’t very bright, so I suggest that next time you talk to him you tell him to explain how he can test your phonelines without going there and blame it on something you’re not connected to. He should have told you to unplug all your phones for five minutes, then plug one of them back in to see if the hpones come back.
them: I did that yesterday! All the phones are still unplugged and there’s no dialtone on any of them.
me: (you unplugged them, stupid! then how in fuck are you talking to me?) you will just have to call Telus ma’am. Goodbye… (enjoy the 3 year contract you just signed, moron)