Service call of the day

Call of the day:

me: So let me get this straight, Telus gave you a free ADSL modem, free hookup and three months of free ADSL ‘just to try’?

them: yes.

me: and you’ve already cancelled your dialup internet with us?

them: yes it ran out last month.

me: and Telus told you that our dialup Internet was making all your phones go dead?

them: yes. They phoned and told me it must be your Internet.

me: and your computer is not plugged into the phone line?

them: of course not. we switched to ADSL like a month ago.

me: and is the ADSL working?

them: of course not, it never has. Then you made all our phones go dead yesterday.

me: how did I do that if you’re not one of our customers and aren’t even plugged into a phone line?

them: I don’t know. The Telus guy said. He said you had to disconnect our dialup before the phones would work. They said they tested it outside the house and everything on the Telus side is okay.

me: when did they come? Just today? (there’s no installer in town Fridays)

them: I don’t know. I haven’t been home.

me: so you never saw anyone come to your house, and your computer isn’t even plugged into the telephone line, and you don’t have an account with our company, but the Telus guy said he came to the house and our Internet made your phones stop working.

them: yes. that’s right.

me: well ma’am, these Telus guys aren’t very bright, so I suggest that next time you talk to him you tell him to explain how he can test your phonelines without going there and blame it on something you’re not connected to. He should have told you to unplug all your phones for five minutes, then plug one of them back in to see if the hpones come back.

them: I did that yesterday! All the phones are still unplugged and there’s no dialtone on any of them.

me: (you unplugged them, stupid! then how in fuck are you talking to me?) you will just have to call Telus ma’am. Goodbye… (enjoy the 3 year contract you just signed, moron)

CLUCK that is funny. Did you laugh hard when you hung up ?

you’re working with uniserve in Victoria? The evil Borg empire that took over Okanagan Junction, Silk net and PC Net and didn’t even make me an offer?
Resistance is futile…

I neede a job this is so smiple and laid back : O ) money is money : O )

Doing phone tech support full time is a good way to get burned out. I wouldn’t recommend it.

No but i ned the money : O ) till i go to school. or get a better job… Sides im pretty helpfull around here doing the dell stuff and printer stuff : O )

Alastiar you should see all the HP MFP certs i just did WOAH lots of work

DON’T CALL THE NEW GUY THE MORNING AFTER A BONSPIEL;
“uh, I bought a new hard drive because mine died and i wanted to know how to put Windows 98 back on it”
“well you could finish your grade 12 and then go pay a couple thousand to take an A+ course like I did”
“uh, is there an easier way?”
"yeah bring me your computer and $75"
“uh, okay. see you in a few minutes”

SSSSWWWWEEEEEEEET!!!

“I have this old computer with Windows 95, but theX it won’t find mice and the com port’s okay. I want to give it to my grandaughter and I wondered if it will cost an arm and a leg to fix it.”
“Giver her a soccer ball instead.”
“What?”
“She won’t hurt her feet kicking a soccer ball.”
“Haha. I just want her to get a bit of a start on computing.”
“Everyone starts equal with a soccer ball. A computer old enough to run on Windows 95 is a handicap…”

Every time i’m on the phone and try to connect to the net it says no dial tone. How come. Well sir you can’t talk on the phone and on the dial up at the same time. Well why is that. Because it is in use… Ohhh so what can i do. well you can buy a cell phone , or buy adsl. ADSL right now 18.99 a month he says NO ill buy a pre paid cell phone and use that instead

LMAO.

Um i was told that cutting the end off the cable phone and putting on a bigger one to have it fit into the lan port would give me hi speed adsl is this true.

Um sir NO.! Well why would my friend lie to me.

well they were thinking a little bit. they knew you had to change the end, most just jam the phone in there cuz they don’t know the difference between a modem and a NIC…

i almost made my joke of the day someone who wanted to cancel their 2 mb wireless and use Telus fast dialup. thier next call would be that the computer i sold them had shitty graphics and couldn’t download songs any faster…

Uncle Joe dies. Do your family duty, and bring a memorial card you made at home with Microsoft works and consisting of 1 1/2 sheets of folded paper with ugly staples on the side into your local printshop. Ask what it costs to reproduce 200 of them exactly like this ‘but with the pictures (scattered over the pages) in color’. Express disgust with the quote, and make remarks like "staples wouold do this for like ten bucks, but the service is tomorrow and they’re in Prince George"
Then get a hall, and arrange that five minutes before the service bring your laptop, Fred brings his projector and the preacher brings a prayer DVD. Call the guy you dissed for help, not even being aware that his kids were friends witrh Uncle Joe’s kid, just expecting him to drop everything and help because YOU asked. When he discovers you don’t have a clue how to switch the display mode or turn the volume knob on your own laptop, don’t be embarrassed at your stupidity. Stand in his way and make comments about “Does it have something to do with your Internet? Is your server down again?” while the audience is fidgeting. Stand with your hands on your hips and an accusing look while his jaw hangs open and his Saturday highschooler explains you squashed the pins on the video cable jamming it in, and you may have a problem trying to use laptop speakers to address the entire hall.
When they run out and bring you a set of loaner speakers and video cable, sigh loudly and ask the price of the cable because you suppose you’ll have to buy Fred a new one. Don’t worry about the audience, they’re still waiting because Uncle Joes kids is still at home with Mom trying to print enough memorial cards up on his inkjet. When the highschooler points out you lucked out and have a combo burner that will read the prayer DVD and starts to be annoyed when he shows you how to cue the prayer for the fifteenth time, make a comment about rude employees losing their jobs.
When the son and Mom arrive and whisper that no, give the memorial card to people at the service because you’re short of them, be sure to make a comment that the son will apologize for to his kid.
Then when it’s all done leave it up to the Mother to return the speakers and thank him for the all the assistance, and never show up to pay for the cable.
-Do you even have ONE person this assholic in Rupert? Are there any jobs there?

i cant tell which voice you’re referrring from, like 4.5th person? or like, half narrator, half first person?

Spent fifteen minutes showing someone how to “register” to use our local forum and left her to do her own posts.
Decided to read her post tonight and see what she put up and surprise! She couldn’t figure out the next part so there’s no new posts.
She wanted to post a ‘rental wanted’ cuz she’s coming in September to TEACH at the native school.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

[quote=“herbie_popnecker”]Spent fifteen minutes showing someone how to “register” to use our local forum and left her to do her own posts.
Decided to read her post tonight and see what she put up and surprise! She couldn’t figure out the next part so there’s no new posts.
She wanted to post a ‘rental wanted’ cuz she’s coming in September to TEACH at the native school.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!![/quote]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[quote=“herbie_popnecker”]
-Do you even have ONE person this assholic in Rupert? Are there any jobs there?[/quote]

I’d use the term I just learned: ass clown

Makes me laugh…ive been waiting to use it but that right moment has not come up yet…