# Let's Spread the Stupidity Shall We? **URL:** \ **Category:** Questions and Answers\ **Created:** [February 23, 2009, 5:33am UTC](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/t/lets-spread-the-stupidity-shall-we/7909 "2009-02-23T05:33:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/uploads/default/original/2X/9/98c254f433ccdc03413891b0179886c00d3d3763.png) [@system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 5:33am UTC](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/t/lets-spread-the-stupidity-shall-we/7909/1 "2009-02-23T05:33:47Z")
I just have a couple of questions that I thought our great minds on here could answer and have a little fun with before MONDAY rolls around 👿 No. 1…How come they sterilize the needle used for lethal injections?      No.2…Why is “abbreviated” such a long word?  and No.3…Why didn’t Noah swat those two damn mosquitos??? and save us a lot of heartache…If you can think of any more “stupidisms” to add, go for it…Have fun 😃                ---
**Author:** ![system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/uploads/default/original/2X/9/98c254f433ccdc03413891b0179886c00d3d3763.png) [@system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 5:36am UTC](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/t/lets-spread-the-stupidity-shall-we/7909/2 "2009-02-23T05:36:35Z")
why are they "apart"ments when they are all together? why do u park on a driveway and drive on a parkway? ---
**Author:** ![system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/uploads/default/original/2X/9/98c254f433ccdc03413891b0179886c00d3d3763.png) [@system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 5:52am UTC](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/t/lets-spread-the-stupidity-shall-we/7909/3 "2009-02-23T05:52:35Z")
Why do Seven-Elevens have locks on their doors when they’re open 24 hours a day? Do you have to brush your teeth during a fast? Why do they call it a fast when it goes so damn slow? Why isn’t phonetically spelled that way? ---
**Author:** ![system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/uploads/default/original/2X/9/98c254f433ccdc03413891b0179886c00d3d3763.png) [@system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 5:58am UTC](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/t/lets-spread-the-stupidity-shall-we/7909/4 "2009-02-23T05:58:46Z")
Why do they call them asteroids when they’re out in space and hemorrhoids when they’re on your ass? ---
**Author:** ![system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/uploads/default/original/2X/9/98c254f433ccdc03413891b0179886c00d3d3763.png) [@system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 6:42am UTC](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/t/lets-spread-the-stupidity-shall-we/7909/5 "2009-02-23T06:42:47Z")
Why do you “take a dump” when you are actually leaving the poop in the toilet? ---
**Author:** ![system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/uploads/default/original/2X/9/98c254f433ccdc03413891b0179886c00d3d3763.png) [@system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 7:46am UTC](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/t/lets-spread-the-stupidity-shall-we/7909/6 "2009-02-23T07:46:31Z")
> [@Stardog Champion](#): > > Why do Seven-Elevens have locks on their doors when they’re open 24 hours a day? Not sure if this is true for the whole chain, but many moons ago when I worked at 7-11 the locks were used when we got robbed - we’d have to lock up until the cops showed up and deal with it.  Notice I said ‘when’ we got robbed, not ‘if’…ahhh working at a convenience store in the hood - fantastic memories. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/uploads/default/original/2X/9/98c254f433ccdc03413891b0179886c00d3d3763.png) [@system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 3:56pm UTC](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/t/lets-spread-the-stupidity-shall-we/7909/7 "2009-02-23T15:56:02Z")
Yup, that’s the reason, or if someone is attacked, etc. We have locks on the doors to protect US if the situation arises. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/uploads/default/original/2X/9/98c254f433ccdc03413891b0179886c00d3d3763.png) [@system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 3:57pm UTC](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/t/lets-spread-the-stupidity-shall-we/7909/8 "2009-02-23T15:57:38Z")
My favourite oxymoron:  military intelligence ---
**Author:** ![system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/uploads/default/original/2X/9/98c254f433ccdc03413891b0179886c00d3d3763.png) [@system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 4:06pm UTC](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/t/lets-spread-the-stupidity-shall-we/7909/9 "2009-02-23T16:06:34Z")
If the Black Box from an airplane is so indestuctible, then why don’t they build the plane of the same material ? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/uploads/default/original/2X/9/98c254f433ccdc03413891b0179886c00d3d3763.png) [@system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 4:39pm UTC](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/t/lets-spread-the-stupidity-shall-we/7909/10 "2009-02-23T16:39:23Z")
Why is it called a black box when it is actually red? Heard the “indestructible” joke from Steven Wright, one of my favourite comedians. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/uploads/default/original/2X/9/98c254f433ccdc03413891b0179886c00d3d3763.png) [@system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 7:43pm UTC](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/t/lets-spread-the-stupidity-shall-we/7909/11 "2009-02-23T19:43:48Z")
Why do we pay money to go up a high building and pay money to look through binoculars to see something on the ground? ---
**Author:** ![system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/uploads/default/original/2X/9/98c254f433ccdc03413891b0179886c00d3d3763.png) [@system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 1:41am UTC](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/t/lets-spread-the-stupidity-shall-we/7909/12 "2009-02-24T01:41:39Z")
Ok, if a ram is a male goat and an ass is a donkey, why do they call a ram in the ass a goose? ---
**Author:** ![system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/uploads/default/original/2X/9/98c254f433ccdc03413891b0179886c00d3d3763.png) [@system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 8:29am UTC](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/t/lets-spread-the-stupidity-shall-we/7909/13 "2009-02-24T08:29:17Z")
Yes the kid manipulating pictures on TV is 4 1/2 You’re 56 and haven’t figured out what all those marks on the thermostat between OFF and ON FULL BLAST are. You’re 49 and can’t set even the time on your VCR. You’re 37 and haven’t figured out the dishwasher ain’t broken, the fucking spatula in the top rack is stopping the spinner. You’re the one who after nine years hasn’t figured out that if I crack my window open a bit and light up a smoke, when you open yours all the way to show me you’re pissed off it sucks the smoke right past your nose instead of out my window. You’re the one telling me you saw the ad about you needing a digital box on tv _hundreds of times_ and never noticed it was an American channel. The jokes are cute but there’s so much real stupidity out there the human race is devolving. People were smarter in 1959. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/uploads/default/original/2X/9/98c254f433ccdc03413891b0179886c00d3d3763.png) [@system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 2:00pm UTC](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/t/lets-spread-the-stupidity-shall-we/7909/14 "2009-02-24T14:00:28Z")
> [@codybear933](#): > > If the Black Box from an airplane is so indestuctible, then why don’t they build the plane of the same material ? 😕 Because it would be so heavy that it could never get off the ground. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/uploads/default/original/2X/9/98c254f433ccdc03413891b0179886c00d3d3763.png) [@system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:34pm UTC](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/t/lets-spread-the-stupidity-shall-we/7909/15 "2009-02-24T19:34:21Z")
> [@Stardog Champion](#): > > Because it would be so heavy that it could never get off the ground.     Problem solved…Take the bus 😃 ---
**Author:** ![system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/uploads/default/original/2X/9/98c254f433ccdc03413891b0179886c00d3d3763.png) [@system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 8:38pm UTC](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/t/lets-spread-the-stupidity-shall-we/7909/16 "2009-02-24T20:38:55Z")
> [@decker](#): > > why are they "apart"ments when they are all together? I think “apart” means separate as opposed to detached. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/uploads/default/original/2X/9/98c254f433ccdc03413891b0179886c00d3d3763.png) [@system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 8:51pm UTC](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/t/lets-spread-the-stupidity-shall-we/7909/17 "2009-02-24T20:51:57Z")
Why is your index finger the same size as your nostrils? ---
**Author:** ![system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/uploads/default/original/2X/9/98c254f433ccdc03413891b0179886c00d3d3763.png) [@system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 9:00pm UTC](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/t/lets-spread-the-stupidity-shall-we/7909/18 "2009-02-24T21:00:30Z")
> [@Piknic](#): > > I think “apart” means separate as opposed to detached. really no way lol ---
**Author:** ![system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/uploads/default/original/2X/9/98c254f433ccdc03413891b0179886c00d3d3763.png) [@system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2009, 3:45am UTC](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/t/lets-spread-the-stupidity-shall-we/7909/19 "2009-02-25T03:45:40Z")
Carnation milk - 65 YEARS AGO … This is choice! A cute little lady from Iowa had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation. When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in approximately the 1940s, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan. The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with ‘Carnation Milk is best of all.’ She thought to herself, I know all about milk and dairy farms. I can do this! She sent in her entry, and several weeks later, a black limo pulled up in front of her house. A man got out and said, ‘Carnation LOVED your entry so much, we are here to award you $2,000 even though we will not be able to use it!’ ---
**Author:** ![system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/uploads/default/original/2X/9/98c254f433ccdc03413891b0179886c00d3d3763.png) [@system](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2009, 12:20am UTC](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/t/lets-spread-the-stupidity-shall-we/7909/20 "2009-02-27T00:20:36Z")
I guess I got a little carried away this time… A stitch in time saves nine what? Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food? Since there is a speed of light and a speed of sound, is there a speed of smell? How can you tell when it is time to tune your bagpipes? After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water? After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in? How does a thermos know whether a drink should be hot or cold? Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Since Americans and Europeans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers? Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop? What if the hokey pokey really is what it’s all about? Do people in Australia call the rest of the world ‘up over’? What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free? What is a refried bean? Why do they have to fry it twice? What is shaved ice? Did it have hair on it before it was shaved? Whatever happened to preparations A through G? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? Where did Webster look up the definitions when he wrote the dictionary? Who opened that first oyster and said “My, my. Now doesn’t **this** look yummy!”? Why are America’s parks administered by the Department of the Interior? Whose cruel idea was it for the word ‘lisp’ to have an ‘s’ in it? Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor, but book publishers aren’t afraid to have a Chapter 11? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing “Happy Birthday?” Why can’t you make another word using all the letters in “anagram”? Why did the pot call the kettle black? Why do ballet dancers dance on their toes? Why doesn’t the company just hire taller dancers? If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman? If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth? Why do hot dogs come ten to a package and hot dog buns only eight? If a pizza place sells pizza by the slice, is there a guy in the back tossing triangles of dough in the air? Why do people always remember where they were when someone famous was killed? Do they feel perhaps they’ll need an alibi? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know? Why do the signs that say “Slow Children” have a picture of a running child? Why do they call it a TV “set” when you only get one? Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly? Why do they call the piece of wood a two-by-four if it’s only 1 3/4" x 3 1/2"? Why do they call Wednesday hump day when most people get laid on the weekends? Why do they give you a tape with a VCR to tell you how to use it? Why do they make cars go so fast when speeding is illegal? If blind people wear dark glasses, why don’t deaf people wear earmuffs? Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? Why do they report power outages on TV? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why do we call something sent by car a shipment and something sent by ship cargo? Why do we call them restrooms when no one goes there to rest? If God can do anything, can he make a rock so big he can’t lift it? If God dropped acid, would he see people? Why do we say “a pair of pants” when there is only one article of clothing involved? Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game,” when we are already there? If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them? Why do wise guy and wise man mean entirely different things? Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive? Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic? If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags? If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower when he doesn’t usually wear any pants? If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi? Why don’t they just make food stamps edible? Why don’t you ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”? Why is a boxing ring square? If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? Why is brassiere singular and panties plural? Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman’s chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him? If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen? Why do they call what lawyers do “practice”? In court, why do they ask people if they swear to tell the truth? If they’re planning on lying, do they really think they’ll tell them so? Instead of wasting time hunting and cooking, why don’t hunters just use flame-throwers? Why is lemonade made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet? [Next page](https://forum.hackingthemainframe.com/t/lets-spread-the-stupidity-shall-we/7909.md?page=2)