Today is the first cruise ship day. Watch our for the red helmeted scooter gang.
“Can anyone tell me when the smoked salmon run?”
“After fire season.”
I <3 Cruise Ship days 
There is a ship in town today, tomorrow, and saturday.
the best line i’ve heard is ‘where are the hash bars’ i just say ‘go to port ed on your scooter’
Yep, it was nice of McMillan fish to fire up the offal plant, grinding up all that fish into what ever it is they grind it up into and providing the downtown area with such a welcoming smell… 
Ooops, I didn’t see this thread. Maybe someone can remove my thread? Thanks.
==========================
This is super funny. At least I sure thought it was.
There were four tourists off the ship standing infront of java-dot-cup wondering exactly what type of establishment it was, as I was walking by just a few minutes ago. I will assume that the tourist trying to read the sign on the awning, assumed that Canada was French. In so thinking, the tourist was trying to pronounce the name of the establishment with a horrendous French accent. “Jes Ves Doe… Ja Ves Doe…” Oh My GOD. I couldn’t help myself but to interrupt her, point to the sign and say “Its really much easier to pronounce… Jaaaavaaa Dot Cuuuuup.” Her patrons really got a chuckle, and so did I. Jes Ves Doe? rotlol
rad pick dude…damn that sea plane looks small in contrast…now did anybody get some audio from my favourite version of silent night played on the acordian?
my best cruise ship story…
I’m working and a lady comes up to me “Can you tell me where Bill Murray Drive is?” Assuming she wants to maybe check out kwinitsa or the waterfront I give her the directions. She pauses and goes, “So… Does he live here?” Me: “im sorry, who?” Her:“Well, Bill Murray of course.” I kind of had to pause for a second here, “You mean, Caddyshack Bill Murray? Uhh, No…” (as im trying to not laugh in her face) Her:“What do you mean? Why would you have a street named after him then?” Me:“I dont think its even the same Bill Murray …” She then starts to argue with me over this, in a town that i’ve lived in my entire life, that Bill Murray has to live here because why else would there be a street named after him. I kept trying to explain to her its not even the same bill murray and that i’m sure if he did live here, i would have seen him at least once or twice.
finally a coworker just stepped in and told her he lived up the street but was out of town filming on location. She nodded, smiled, and gave me a satisfied look before heading out the door…
oh, and i’ve been asked where the international diamond exchange was in town.
White american tourist: “You know, I didn’t expect to see this many Mexicans this far north.”
My boss was at Mariners Park and overheard, in a thick southern drawl, “That’s an American bald eagle. What’s an American bald eagle doing all the way up here?”
My girlfriend worked as a waitress and always got asked if the prices on the menu were in American dollars. Some people would laugh at the money when she gave them their change in Canadian dollars and ask "What am I supposed to do with this funny money? Can’t I get my change in American dollars?
I was in a store looking at a ‘Canada Kicks Ass’ sticker and an American couple asked me in a snide voice “Whose ass does Canada kick?” I tried to explain to them that the phrase was not meant in a confrontational or violent way but that it was just saying that Canada is really good. They could not wrap their mids around this concept. Again they asked “So whose ass did Canada kick?” I told them that you don’t always have to beat someone in order to feel good about yourself. Everything does not always have to be a competition. The sticker was just a way of showing national pride. They just stood there with a blank look on their face. They were a caricature of American culture, brainwashed into a competitive, confrontational, narrow minded view of life. It was really quite sad and disturbing.
Well if you ever get trapped again, just go 1812, Washington, White House burned out…
Should end the conversation I guess…
You can cut even shorter next time by simply advising the foreigner that you “Plead the Fifth Amendment”. That oughtta shut 'em up. lol
*5th Amendment is the refusal to answer on the grounds that the answer you provide may be incriminating, in case some here didn’t know.
ya whipped em good that time. stormed the white house and burned the piece to the ground. should be high time for a second round
On a normal 2000 passenger ship day… we get asked those questions at LEAST 60 times each. I love the one about the prices being in American dollars… I just simply ask them:
“If I was to visit the US, would your prices be in Canadian dollars?”
No Ma’am that would be stupid!
All I have to do is give them a stupid look on my face and watch them clue in after that.
If smartass wanted to be a real smartass when asked if the prices were in American dollars, she would’ve replied… “Just for the days the cruiseships are docked, so today is your lucky day, ma’am.” 
hahaha
You would “run” too if you caught someone in hot pursuit brandishing a hot bagel and cream cheese …Oh, for those of you unfamiliar , Hot bagel, slathered in cream cheese, weighted down with smoked salmon and oh, hint of fresh dill and a little horseradish…See ya all, gotta find me a bagel 
I think Yankees should be introduced to real food such as Chowmain Buns , herring eggs and sea weed. Give them the best there is of traditional food and then send them on their way . Maybe give them that touch of dill on their tail so they can smell each other on the way home .
I told a cruise ship passenger about the, when do the smoked salmon run comment, and she laughed at me and said salmon dont run they swim. I just laughed and then she laughed too. I didnt even try to explain it to her.